How do I counter claims from traditionalists who believe punishment is mandatory? They believe that if a coach does not punish, a coach doesn't have any discipline. RESPONSE: Standards must be kept. However, I focus on the positive and use contingencies—rather than focusing on punishments, which are negative. As a former athletic director of a … [Read more...]

QUESTION: I am using the RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM and feel like I am not only training my students, but training myself, also. It's taking practice to learn to say "Certainly, when you have...." instead of "No!" But it's working when I do. It feels odd to simply say "Thank you" when a student tells me the level of behavior he or she was acting on … [Read more...]

QUESTION: My two daughters, aged 7 and 9, attend a school in Sydney, Australia. Since they started there, I have been disturbed by a commonly used practice in the school. Children are rewarded and punished through the use of a happy versus a sad side of the board. Their names are placed on either side according to their behaviour. Everyone in the class … [Read more...]

My passion is to foster responsibility. In my seminars and in my books on  education and on parenting, I refer to victimhood thinking and how to teach young people to be VICTORS—rather than victims. With this in mind, let me share an  e-mail I received from my sister-in-law, Bobbie Marshall: "Let's see if I understand how America … [Read more...]

I have a few questions. 1.) The school I work in is very entrenched in the idea that discipline EQUALS punishment. The students buy into this idea in that they seem to depend on punitive reactions from their teachers and parents. Teaching students what you expect seems not enough. How does one help the child to move from … [Read more...]

QUESTION: I am writing to you because I had a problem with a parent today and I really need some advice. One of my students behaves like a bully, hits his classmates and threatens to hit them outside the classroom. He pushes them or he sometimes makes them stumble. Today he used vulgarity. I decided to send a note to his parents, and asked … [Read more...]

Other Thoughts Relating to Discipline The ultimate use of power should be to empower others. That’s what our constitution is about. What we accomplish by threats and coercion must be maintained by force. What we accomplish by guiding and caring is self-propelling. Real power consists in creating a situation where coercion need not … [Read more...]

QUESTION: Can you give me an easy way to explain to someone the difference between punishment and discipline? RESPONSE: PUNISHMENT is what is done TO a person. DISCIPLINE is what is done FOR and WITH a person. ---------- COMMENTS FROM OTHERS: "Discipline is understood in a very limited way by most educators—How do we get these children … [Read more...]