This article first appeared in the January 2008 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

Whereas good relationships are important to girls,
success is more important to boys.

Hopefully, society is well past the “politically correct” theory (an oxymoron in a democratic society) that the ONLY difference between a male and a female is in socialization—that aside from reproductive organs, there is no difference between the sexes neurologically, psychologically, or emotionally.

A boy measures everything he does or says by a single yardstick: “Does this make me look weak?” If it does, he isn’t going to do it. That’s part of the reason that videogames have such a powerful hold on boys. The action is constant; boys can calibrate just how hard the challenges will be; and when they lose, the defeat is private.

With this in mind, it’s important to remember that PUBLIC competition improves performance, but not learning. Some students will practice for hours spurred on by the competitive spirit in music competition, athletics, or speech contests. These students are motivated to compete. Competition can be fun, as witnessed by the hours that young people invest in such activities. However, competition is devastating for the youngster—especially the boy—who never finds himself in the winner’s circle. Rather than compete, that student drops out by giving up.

As an elementary school principal and the elementary committee chair for one of the regions of the Association of California School Administrators (ACSA), I recommended that the entry age to kindergarten be raised, not lowered. I had seen first hand how so many young boys were not cognitively developed enough to handle some of the “sitting still” academic challenges facing them.

More recently, at my presentations I receive an increasing number of kindergarten teachers who each year continue to tell me that their current crop of young boys is the worst they have ever had. For a number of reasons, these young boys are simply not socialized enough before thrusting academics at them.More and more young boys will become “at-risk” as early as kindergarten because the feeling associated with weakness in the academic skills negatively impinges on their self-talk and self-esteem. I repeat a recurrent theme in my presentations: “People do good when they feel good—not when they feel bad.”

Boys would rather drop out by losing interest and misbehaving than show that they can’t perform. Weakness does not motivate them to want to participate. It takes a masterful teacher and parent to encourage them to persevere.

The three principles to practice of (1) communicating in positive language, (2) reducing coercion by prompting choice-response thinking, and (3) sharing how to act reflectively—rather than reflexively—can be of significant assistance when dealing with young boys. See the teaching model.

This article first appeared in the March 2008 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

Having a system to rely on and refer to is superior to having a talent.

Working in Harlem under contract for three years with the New York City Board of Education taught me an invaluable lesson: Having a teaching SYSTEM is far superior to talent when a teacher faces challenging behaviors in the classroom.

The assistant superintendent and I were very impressed while observing a teacher one year. We agreed that the teacher was a “natural.” However, when I visited the teacher the following year, she told me that three boys were such challenges that she could use some assistance.

Even teachers with “natural talent” are challenged by student behaviors that teachers in former generations did not have to deal with. To retain the joy that the teaching profession offers and to reduce one’s stress, having a SYSTEM to rely on can significantly help. The Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model describes such a SYSTEM. It contains four essential phases to successful teaching and learning:

I. Teaching Procedures

The first phase differentiates classroom management from discipline. Classroom management is about teaching, practicing, and reinforcing procedures and is the teacher’s responsibility. Discipline, in contrast, is about self-control and impulse management and is the student’s responsibility. More on this topic is available at Classroom Management.

II. Practicing Three Principles

This second phase describes three universal principles teachers employ to inspire and induce students to initiate their own changes. The principles are positivity, choice, and reflection. How using just these three principles can change a person’s personal as well as a one’s professional life as can be read at A Principal’s Experience.

III. Being Proactive in Discipline

This third phase refers to teaching a lesson that inspires students to behave responsibly. This is in contrast to the usual approach of first reacting after an irresponsible behavior. Teaching a lesson that has students WANT to behave responsibly reduces stress and is both more efficient and effective. The Raise Responsibility System describes teaching four (4) concepts relating to social (and personal) development. After teaching the concepts, checking for understanding is used when a disruption occurs. If misbehavior continues, than guided choices are used to help the student develop a procedure to help himself or in severe cases to elicit a consequence. The approach is totally noncoercive (but not permissive) and employs internal motivation—rather than relying on shorter-lasting external manipulations of threats, punishments, or rewards. The link to Discipline without Stress lists some indications as to the success and growing popularity of this SYSTEM.

IV. Using the System to Increase Academic Performance

This phase has students become motivated to put forth effort to increase learning without the teacher’s use of any external motivators. Instead, the teacher refers to the four (4) concepts referred to above. The Hierarchy of Social Development describes the concepts. First, pictures are painted of the concepts in students’ minds before students engage in a lesson or activity. Then after the activity, students take just a moment to reflect on their chosen concept. Students WANT to achieve at the highest concept level just by the nature of the levels in the hierarchy. By being proactive before and employing reflection afterwards, motivation toward learning is significantly increased.

More explanations of each of the above are available for further study and download at MarvinMarhall.com. For those who desire a more in-depth understanding and would like to share the Raise Responsibility System with administrators and others, please print the pdf version of the Phi Delta Kappan cover article at the articles ink.

This article first appeared in the November 2002 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
But we can speed up the process.

1. Create curiosity
Curiosity is perhaps the greatest of all motivators. Here is the difference between American and Japanese styles of teaching: In Japanese schools, students are immediately introduced to a problem or challenge. They grapple with it. Curiosity is naturally engendered. By contrast, in American schools the main idea(s) are presented, the solution is taught, and then students practice. Where is the curiosity engendered using this approach?

2. Teach students to ask themselves questions
Encourage students to ask themselves questions. The questioning process starts the thinking process. When students begin to ask themselves “Why?” and “How?” questions, both alertness and interest increase. There are only three things we are more likely to answer than a question—the telephone, the doorbell, and e-mail.

3. Create desire
Students are constantly asking themselves, “What’s In It For Me?” Since they’re tuned to that radio station, WII-FM, spend a little time at the beginning to talk about what the lesson has in it for them—long and/or short range. Consider asking why the lesson would be worthwhile, how students may benefit from it, and how they can make use of it.

Start by asking these questions of yourself. Stuck? Put it on the table for students to grapple with. You will be amazed at (1) how resourceful they will be and (2) how it helps them buy into the lesson.

4. Structure experiences to apply to life outside of school
Theory is important, but interest will increase the more you tie it into practice by showing how the learning makes life easier and better. Share how the content will help students make better decisions, solve more problems, get along better with others, and make them more effective.

Have a poster and re-emphasize the following wisdom: “Wise people think long-term, not just for today.”

5. Develop a sense of personal responsibility
Remember the fundamental principle of motivation: consciously or nonconsciously people motivate themselves.

Each individual is responsible for learning, but it is the teacher’s responsibility to create the best possible climate in which that learning can take place. An effective way to do this is to give students an opportunity at the beginning of the class to indicate:
- What expectations they have,
- What outcomes they expect, and
- What they are willing to do to achieve those results.

6. Use acknowledgment and recognition
Acknowledgment/recognition/validation simply affirm. “I see you did your homework” fosters reflection and feelings of self-competence.

Also, consider repeating a comment you have heard or that someone has told you. “Evelyn made an interesting comment, one that applies to what we’ve been exploring. I think it bears repeating.”

What has been accomplished by employing this simple technique?
- You gave recognition.
- You not only encouraged Evelyn but you encouraged others to become more involved.
- You demonstrated that you are open to feedback and students’ comments can contribute to their own learning.

7. Encourage
One of the most effective techniques is to let the student know that you believe s/he can accomplish the task. A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than a whole lot of praise after a success.

Emphasize that learning is a process and that no one can learn something and be perfect at the same time. Doing something one way and not being successful is another thing learned; don’t consider it failure.

8. Use collaboration
Competition improves performance, not learning. Yes, some students will practice for hours spurred on by the competitive spirit—be it in music, athletics, or performing arts. But these students are motivated to compete.

And competition can be fun for short periods, but competing with others is devastating for the youngster who never finds himself/herself in the winner’s circle. Rather than compete, the student drops out by giving up.

Every time a teacher asks a question of a group, students are competing for the teacher’s attention—and usually only one student wins. A better approach is to establish learning buddies. Even a very shy student will share with one other person. So, instead of asking a question, pose the question. Asking implies a correct answer, whereas posing invites thinking. Have students discuss the answer with each other. Using this approach, every student participates.

9. Get yourself excited
You shouldn’t expect others to get excited about what you are teaching if you are not excited about it yourself. Show your enthusiasm for the lesson. When lecturing, use just a little more enthusiasm than when you are conversing, facilitating, or reviewing.

10. Intensify interpersonal relationships
Connecting with your students on a one-on-one basis is extremely valuable, but helping them connect with one another on a one-on-one basis can be even more valuable.

Give students an opportunity to socialize for short periods before learning activities start. Establishing relationships are extremely important to young people.

11. Offer choices
Regardless of age, everyone likes to feel control over one’s own life. When we can make choices, we feel we have that control. Offer a choice of activities—and that includes home assignments.

By providing two, three, or even four activities and letting students choose among them, you give them an opportunity to select something that engenders motivation.

12. Use variety
A myriad of visual techniques can be employed including charts; cartoons; selected parts of films, videocassettes, and/or digital versatile discs (dvd’s); power point creations (on many new computers); and overhead transparencies. Dressing the part of a character (teacher and/or student) qualifies.

A myriad of audio techniques can be used such as playing music, recording music, rapping, creating verse—or anything that has rhythm. Remember how you learned your ABC’s? “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” is the tune for “the alphabet song.”

A myriad of kinesthetic techniques can be used. Examples are drawing the spelling of a word in the air, standing in a small group rocking together to feel seasick on the boat crossing the Atlantic Ocean as immigrants, and just giving a high five to get attention (two eyes on teacher, two ears listening, one mouth closed).

Other approaches include large group discussions, case studies, and relating personal experiences to a learning buddy on the topic.

Another technique is to use handouts for students to complete during the presentation. This activity keeps them involved and also gives them something they can refer to later. This simple technique also allows you to cover more material in less time.

Conclusion
It’s a wonderful experience to have in our classrooms eager, young people who are there because they want to be, not because they are obliged to be. Unfortunately, this is not the case in many classrooms today. However, by focusing on these suggestions, we can create lessons that produce better results for both students and teachers.

This article first appeared in the March 2002 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

Expand your expectations.
You will have more success and less stress than teaching obedience to rules.

Expected behavior is more effectively achieved through the use of standards than rules.

REDUCING RULES

A common practice in this country is to establish classroom rules, either by the teacher or by the teacher and students cooperatively.

Rules are necessary in games, but in relationships rules are counterproductive. Although the establishment of rules has good intentions, their implementation often produces deleterious effects. When Johns Hopkins University researchers analyzed data from more than 600 of the nation’s schools, they found six characteristics associated with discipline problems. Notice that the first three concerned rules.

1. Rules were unclear or perceived as unfairly or inconsistently enforced.
2. Students didn’t believe in the rules.
3. Teachers and administrators didn’t know what the rules were or disagreed on the proper responses to student misconduct.
4. Teacher-administrator cooperation was poor or the administration was inactive.
5. Misconduct was ignored.
6. Teachers tended to have punitive attitudes.

When a student does not follow a class rule, the tendency is to think in negative terms. The reason is simple; rules in a classroom imply “or else.” A rule that is not followed often leads to an accusatory encounter and results in some type of psychological pain, anger, or resentment for both teacher and student. The rationale is that there must be a consequence for breaking the rule. A consequence is a light punishment that, by its very nature, is coercive. It encourages feelings of enmity, which are not very conducive for positive relationships.

The fact that teachers tend to have punitive attitudes is a natural outgrowth of establishing rules. This was verified in the Number Six finding of the Johns Hopkins study. Rulemaking breeds enforcement, which promotes punitive attitudes and results in a teacher’s moving from the role of a coach to the role of a cop.

Dr. William Glasser affirms that “traditional education often produces problems that stem from poorly conceived and poorly administrated rules.”

At present, in both elementary and secondary schools, we usually establish rigid rules that lead to punishment when they are broken. The rigid rules of the average central-city school cause even those who have more to gain, the intelligent, to rebel and to refuse to accept the education available.

He concludes that an inflexible, punitive approach works poorly especially with central-city children, “most of whom have difficulty obeying rules.”

Classroom rules often work against the very reason for their existence: to have students self discipline and maintain decorum. Quality schools and quality workplaces do not rely on rules.

Neither does citizenship education rely on rules. Citizenship education has to do with appropriate and inappropriate classroom conduct, and rules are kept to a minimum—such as respect for one another and safety. Citizenship is really little more than the conscious practice of civic etiquette—the public manners that make the places where we live workable when we practice them and unbearable when we don’t.

Rules are not effective in teaching moral development. Many parents, teachers, and religious leaders find out too late that a concentrated or exclusive focus on rules is problematic. Using rules and attempting to enforce them as the principal method of producing compliance has not been successful. In fact, it often creates defiance. Many schools, for instance, have established school-wide citizenship programs because large numbers of students are tardy, absent, or otherwise fail to comply with school policies and procedures. This program consisted of an enforcement system that required noncompliant students to participate in hours of community service or other educational programs for each failure to comply. ‘Teeth’ were added by announcing that failure to comply or complete the service hours would prevent students from graduating. It was not long until schools were forced to create large-scale service and educational programs that required extra record keeping because large and increasing numbers of students failed to comply. The rule system designed to decrease noncompliance actually appeared to promote it. (A. Lynn Scoresby, Teaching Moral Development, 1996 p. 28)

The mere fact that one knows a rule does not mean it will be followed, in much the same way that information that has been taught does not mean it was learned. When we discover that a teaching has not been learned, we try to assist the student. Similarly, behavior is learned, and the student should be helped, not hurt or caused to suffer.

Rules are “left-hemisphered.” They are sensible, orderly, and structured. However, students who “break the rules” often operate spontaneously and process randomly—typical “right-hemisphere” behavior. In addition, rules often engender the search for loopholes. Teachers would be better served by using standards, courtesies, manners, or procedures—rather than rules.

STANDARDS

The term, standard, connotes a positive orientation. When a standard is not met, a helping mentality is engendered, rather than an enforcement mentality. The use of the term also implies consideration for others.

A standard fosters a “We are all in this together” attitude and counters a major finding of the Johns Hopkins study, namely that many students believe “rules” are mandates that adults put on students, but do not apply to adults.

Standards engender student empowerment. They promote an esprit de corps in the classroom, similar to what occurs with any team. Standards serve as expectations, and expectations are responsibility lifting. They tap into internal motivation and foster commitment, rather than compliance.

Notice that the following two sets of examples of classroom standards connote expectations, rather than obedience to rules:

• Do my work
• Have materials
• Be where I belong
• Control myself
• Follow directions
• Speak considerately
• Be prompt
• Bring materials
• Listen for instructions
• Honor self and others
• Accept ownership of my choices

COURTESIES AND MANNERS

Edmund Burke, the 18th century British statesman, said that manners are more important than laws. According to the George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), the Irish political activist and playwright, “Without good manners human society becomes intolerable and impossible.”

Manners are courtesies; they are what make civilization civil. Hal Urban is a professional speaker, former teacher, and author of the award-winning book, “Life’s Greatest Lessons: 20 Things I Want My Kids to Know. He suggests holding discussions on the topic.

Following are some questions that foster manners and further reduce the necessity for rules:

• Would a society be better if people treated each other with respect?
• How are classrooms and schools societies?
• How can good manners be one of the most important keys to success in life?
• What is the Golden Rule? How is it civilizing?
• Which impresses people more: being cool or being courteous?

The following questions promote additional reflection on the topic:

• What do you think about getting up, walking across the room, throwing something in the wastebasket, and then walking back across the room while the teacher is talking?
• What do you think about speaking to others and especially adults in a defiant manner?
• What are disadvantages of swearing in classrooms and in conversations between classes?
• What difference does it make when approaching someone with, “May I please have. . . ” in a pleasant tone versus saying, “I need. . . ” in a demanding tone?
• What are the advantages to using, “Please,” and “Thank you.”?
• What do you think about listening when the teacher is talking versus feeling the right to ignore the teacher and have a private conversation?
• What do you think about listening when a fellow class member asks a question?
• What do you think about demonstrating an interest in other people’s feelings versus being solely concerned with yourself?

PROCEDURES

Very often, what a teacher refers to as a rule is really a procedure. We need look no further than to one of the first rules primary students are given. They are taught the classroom rule of raising one’s hand to be recognized by the teacher before speaking out. The same rule is taught year after year. I have even seen this rule posted in eighth grade classrooms! Simply reminding students that this is a procedure, rather than a rule, places the teacher in the position of a coach and eliminates an enforcement mentality.

We too often assume that students know what we know and what we would like them to do. Do not make such an assumption. Teach procedures, such as how to enter the classroom, how to use an activity center, how to distribute supplies, or anything else that requires a mode of operation. A successful classroom has routines and procedures, which give organization and structure to learning. The outstanding teacher communicates high expectations and then teaches procedures to facilitate them.

KEY POINTS

• Rules are necessary in games but are counterproductive in relationships.
• Relationships improve as rules are reduced.
• Rules foster obedience rather than responsibility.
• The use of standards accomplish what rules purport to do, but without their disadvantages.
• Discussing courtesies and manners are more effective than posting rules.
• Teach procedures. They accomplish what you want rules to do. 

This article first appeared in the November 2001 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

Consider: When you tell, who does the thinking?
When you ask, who does the thinking?

GUIDELINES

Reflective questions require a thinking response. Such questions

• are usually open-ended. They require more than a “yes” or “no” answer.
• focus on the present or future (as opposed to the past).
• help people learn through the process of thinking.
• help people ask questions of themselves.
• are framed to fit the situation and clarify.
• often start with “What?” or How?”

Questions that can be answered “yes” or “no” are closed-ended questions because they often close conversations. However, they can be used if they lead to self-inquiry or self-evaluation, such as, “Is your time being used most profitably?” In some instances, just asking a question is sufficient. In other situations, “yes” or “no” questions can be effective if followed up with another question which calls for a solution. Here are some examples of effective closed-ended questions:

• Is what you are doing working?
• Is what you are doing helping to get your work done? How?
• Is what you are choosing to do helping you get what you want? How?
• Are you willing to do something different from what you have been doing?
• Are you taking the responsible course? How?
• Is there any other way it could be handled?
• If you could do better, should you?
• Are you satisfied with the results?
• What do you think an extraordinary person would do in this situation?

Questions do not need to end with a question mark. For example, “Please describe to me . . . .” is an effective clarification question. Other openers are “Illustrate. . . . ” and Walk me through. . . .”

POTHOLES

Avoid asking a “Why?” question. Many times a young person does not know the reason for a behavior. Besides, such a question gives the student an excuse not to take responsibility. This is especially the case where youngsters are labeled. Even though the classification is meant to help, the label becomes a justification. “I can’t help it. I have poor attention,” is an example. Moreover, even if the “why” were to be known, articulating the explanation is very difficult. Most important, however, asking a “Why?” question has little effect on changing behavior.

“Why?” questions have an accusatory overtone. If you are really curious, ask a nonjudgmental question: “Out of curiosity, why did you choose this rather than that?’ Change the structure of the question to eliminate any negative inference. A negative implication can be implied in other than “why” questions such as, “When are you going to stop doing that?” Notice the unspoken demand and negative undertone. In contrast, asking “How long will you be continuing that?” is inquisitive when asked in a non-accusatory tone. Of course, the tone of the voice is critical. The adage, “What you are doing speaks so loudly that I can’t hear what you are saying” rings true here.

QUESTIONS AS STRESS REDUCERS

Stress is reduced when we ask reflective, self-evaluative questions. The reduction of stress comes about because of the position in which we place ourselves. When influencing someone, only a noncoercive approach is effective. A person may be temporarily controlled, but any lasting change comes only when the person wants to change. With this awareness, the first act is mental positioning. When practicing any skill, putting yourself in position always precedes any action. This is as true when asking evaluative-type questions as it is when holding a golf club before the swing, holding a baseball bat before the pitch arrives, shooting a basketball, holding a tennis racquet, or playing any musical instrument. The first step is placing yourself in a mental stance to employ noncoercion. You do not shout a question. The tone of voice communicates at least as much as the words. Even a horse understands this, as was reported by the trainer of Seattle Slew, the 1977 Triple Crown Winner. “Slew’s a show horse. Thousands of people visit him each year. He’s tough but kind, and he will do anything you ask him to do as long as you pose it as a question. If you give him an order, you are going to have a fight on your hands. And you’re going to lose.” (Time, April 28, 1997, p. 27)

THE SKILL

Asking evaluative questions is a skill. As with any skill, you will feel awkward at first, but the more you practice asking self-evaluative questions, the more comfortable you become, the more confidence you develop, and the more effective you are. In addition, regardless of how often the strategy is used with a person, it is still effective because the strategy is noncoercive and empowering.

Practice is the mother of skill. Thinking about a skill is not practicing it. Thinking is necessary for focus, but only the actual asking of self-evaluative questions will give you the skill. With this in mind, the question is asked, “How do you develop the skill?” Answered the sage, “With experience.” “But,” asked the disciple, “How do you get the experience?” Came the answer, “By asking poor questions.” Remember: you cannot learn a skill and be perfect at the same time. Each question asked is a learning experience and, if the desired result is not obtained, it should be thought of as feedback, not as failure.

KEY POINTS

• Reflection is a powerful teaching and learning strategy that is too often overlooked.

• When applied to oneself, reflection is self-evaluation, which engenders self-correction—the most effective route to change and growth.

• The key to fostering reflection is the skill of asking evaluative questions, the most effective yet neglected strategy both in learning and in dealing with people.

• Asking evaluative questions is a skill and is only developed and becomes easy through practice.

• Asking self-evaluative questions reduces stress.

This article first appeared in the September 2001 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

Inquiry precedes advocacy.

REFLECTION AND EVALUATIVE QUESTIONS

As important as reflection is in learning new information, the practice is equally as important for self-growth. When applied to oneself, reflection is referred to as self-evaluation. This practice engenders self-correction—the most effective route to improvement and growth.

Asking evaluative questions such as, “What can you do to accomplish that?” and “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” are designed to provoke deep and reflective thinking. When you use these kinds of questions, you are directing the other person’s thinking in a positive way. The answers can be a gift to the person asking questions because is a quick way to obtain and understand the other person’s perception and viewpoint, crucial in a student teacher relationship and so many other settings.

In addition, asking these kinds of evaluative questions empowers the other person because the ideas that people support most are ones they come up with themselves; the answers that are most important to people are their own. Ownership is a critical component for self-evaluation and change.

The following questions are extremely successful for changing behavior:

• What do you want?
• What are you choosing to do?
• If what you are choosing is not getting you what you want, then what is your plan?
• What are your procedures to implement the plan?

Here are additional questions for specific purposes:

For Getting on Task

• Does what you are doing help you get your work done?
• If you would like to get your work done, what would be your first step?
• What do you like to do that you can apply to this task?

For Commitment

• In the realm of all things possible, could you have kept your commitment?
• What are you going to do to make it happen?
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rank your commitment to it?

For Improving Quality

• How does that look to you?
• What would you like to have improved even more?
• If there were no limitations on what you did, what would allow you to do it even better?

For Complaining

• How long are you going to continue this?
• Is what you are doing helping you get what you want?
• What do you notice about the experience you are having?

For Starting Conversations

• What was most pleasing for you today?
• What bothered you the most today?
• What was your biggest challenge today? How did you deal with it?
• If the situation came up again, what would you do?

The quality of the answers depends on the quality of the questions. Here are some ineffective questions which increase stress because of the responses they engender. Notice how reactive and counterproductive they are to changing behavior.

• What’s the problem?
• What’s your problem?
• Why are you doing this?
• Who did that?
• Why did you do that?
• Don’t you know better than that?

The key point to remember is that the quality of thinking and the quality of answers depends upon the quality of the questions.

This article first appeared in the May 2001 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

Learning is not compulsory, but neither is survival.
W. Edwards Deming

Reflection is a powerful teaching and learning strategy that is too often overlooked. The key to reflection is the skill of asking self-evaluative questions. It is the most effective, yet neglected, strategy both in learning and in dealing with people. Using this skill also reinforces the other two practices of positivity and choice.

REFLECTION AND LEARNING

Reflection is necessary for long-term memory reinforcement. Its absence in the learning process can be likened to chewing—but not swallowing. The food is tasted, but unless it is digested, there is no nutritional value. Before elementary students leave a subject or middle and high school students leave a classroom, teachers should lead students to reflect upon the lesson. “John Dewey phrased this concept in a formula: “Experience + Reflection = Growth.”

In order to create meaning from a new informational experience, we need “internalizing time.” The human brain is a meaning-seeking organism. Much of what we are exposed to in learning happens so fast that we need time to process it. The brain continues to process information before and long after we are aware of it. This is the reason why many of our ideas seem to “pop out of the blue.” For this reason, a teacher can either call for learners’ attention to new information or have them make meaning-but not both at the same time. This “down time” (which is not really down), is a significant step for enhancing long-term memory.

Cramming more content per minute or moving from one piece of learning to the next without reflection virtually guarantees that little will be retained. Planning time for reflection also encourages students to let the teacher know when they did not understand or did not get a point the teacher made.

A quick-check technique is for the teacher to stop every so often and say, “In case you did not understand something, you and your partner write it down and turn it into me, and I’ll read it over.” Often, students will ask a question about something that the teacher thought was made clear but for some students was unclear.

A good way to promote reflection at the end of a class period is for students to keep a daily learning log. Students jot down at least one thought they had as a result of the lesson and explain the significance of the thought. Helpful prompt questions are, “What did I learn today?” “What do I need to work on tomorrow?” “In what did I do well?” and “What could I have done differently?” The questions asked are often more valuable than the answers.

A “keeper journal” is another reflective approach and has the advantage of feeling more personal. Students write down one comment, thought, or learning that they would like to keep (remember). If such a journal were started at the beginning of a typical American school year (although the activity can be started any time), each student would accumulate 170-200 specific remembrances from a teacher. What a wonderful way to extend a teacher’s influence!

This article first appeared in the April 2002 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

If a behavioral change is necessary,
the stress should be on the student—not the teacher.

A LETTER FROM A TEACHER

THE RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM

The Raise Responsibility System is a proactive discipline approach that does not reward students for expected, appropriate behavior. It also uses a more effective and less stressful approach than “logical,” “natural,” or imposed consequences.

The usual approach to disruptive behaviors is to react. Some teachers believe they are being proactive when they use rules. Establishing rules and expecting students to follow them is stress inducing, results in adversarial relationships, and is too often ineffective. See last month’s Gazette for a more effective approach than using rules for a discipline plan.
http://teachers.net/gazette/MAR02/marshall.html

Most teachers teach toward obedience. With today’s students, too often this results in resistance, rebellion, and even defiance. However, teachers who PROMOTE RESPONSIBILITY find that they receive obedience as a natural by product.

That is the strategy used in the Raise Responsibility System to which the teacher in the letter referred.

Part I

The foundation of the program is teaching four levels of social development. Level A refers to anarchy. Level B refers to Bullying/Bossing/Bothering. Neither of these levels represents acceptable behaviors.

Level C refers to conformity and exposes students to peer pressure. It explains external motivation and empowers students to resist inappropriate behaviors. Level D refers to democracy, which requires initiative and responsibility—doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do. This is the level of internal motivation. It teaches students to be victors, rather than victims.

Teaching the hierarchy of development accomplishes a number of goals:

1. It separates the act from the actor, the deed from the doer. This is critical. A prime reason why teachers and students react against each other is that the student has a natural tendency to self-defend when accused. By using the hierarchy, self-defense is eliminated because reference is never made to the behavior. Reference is always towards the benchmark of what has been taught: the hierarchy of social development.
2. Students become aware of the fact that they always choose the level at which they behave—consciously or nonconsciously.
3. Students learn how to deal with both bullying and peer pressure.
4. Responsibility, the prime characteristic of every character education program, is promoted without raising red flags of values, ethics, or morals.

Part II

The second part of the Raise Responsibility System is that of honing in on the skill of asking REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS, as was referred to in the above letter.

A foundation of the system is that no one changes another person. You can control someone else, but you cannot change another person. People change themselves, and the most effective approach for a person to change is through reflection—not through external approaches of rewarding, punishing, or telling. (“Telling,” in contrast to “sharing,” carries with it implied criticism—that what the person is doing is not good enough. Besides, no one likes to be told what to do.)

More on this topic is available at http://www.aboutdiscipline.com.

A reason why the approach is stress reducing is that the teacher is positioned in a counseling mode. Questions are asked. A person normally does not become upset when asking questions.

The usual question is to ask the student to identify the LEVEL of behavior—A, B, C, or D. Since the student knows the levels, asking this question prompts the student toward reflection. (This is really just simple cognitive teaching. First we teach, and then we check for understanding.)

Remember these two points:

1. When you tell, you do the thinking. When you ask, the student does the thinking. Since you cannot change the student—the student only can do the self-changing—it is critical for the student, rather than the teacher, to do the thinking.
2. The person who asks the question controls the situation. (When someone asks you a question, don’t you have a natural tendency to answer it?) Asking reflective questions is the noncoercive, stress-reducing way to control the interchange.

The quality of the answer depends on the quality of the question. For example, asking a “Why? question is not wise. It gives the person an opportunity for an excuse, e.g., “I’m ADHD; I couldn’t control myself.” In addition, “Why?” has an accusatory overtone. Besides, it is difficult to pinpoint motivation, and since adults often do not want to articulate the real reason they do something, why should we think younger people are different?

Part III

The core of the Raise Responsibility System are parts I and II. However, there will be times when disruptive behavior continues. In these situations, a consequence is elicited—rather than imposed. When punishment (consequence) is imposed, the student becomes the victim and has no ownership in the consequence. In contrast, when a consequence is elicited, ownership is automatic. People rarely argue with their own thoughts.

By the way, imposing a plan is a major reason why it is often not implemented. The student has no ownership in it.

Using the simple-to-implement Raise Responsibility System promotes responsibility, reduces teacher stress, and contributes to the joy of learning and teaching.

This article first appeared in the January 2002 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

Gratitude is not only the greatest of all the virtues
but the parent of all the others.
Cicero

The following exercise combines three practices of positivity, choice, and reflection. Hal Urban has conducted the exercise for many years with amazing results. Since young people think about what they lack—more often than they think about what they have—the exercise is a wonderful way to foster gratitude and positive thinking.

Inform your students to conduct themselves for the next twenty-four hours without complaining.

• Tell them not to stop the experiment even if they do complain.
  Just have them see how few complaints they can make in one day.
• Give each student a blank card, such as 3 x 5 or 4 x 6.

This makes it convenient to note each time a complaint comes forth and each time they catch themselves about to complain.

The next day, ask:

• What was the purpose of the assignment?
• What did you learn from doing it?

Students will have discovered the frequency and smallness of their complaints.

Then, have students label a paper, “I am thankful for,” and make three columns:

Column 1 Things
They list all the material things they are glad they have.

Column 2 People
They list all the people they appreciate.

Column 3 Other
What will emerge will be freedom, opportunity, friendship, love, intelligence, abilities, health, talents, peace, faith, God, security, learning experiences, beauty, kindness, and the list continues.

Instruct students to review the list four (4) times within the next twenty-four hours:

• In the afternoon
• After dinner
• Before going to sleep
• Before school the next morning

When attention is given to the positive, when the option of choice is recognized, and when reflection is employed, stress is reduced, life is conducted more successfully, and greater pleasure results.

This article first appeared in the February 2001 issue of the Gazette on <teachers.net>
and is based on the book, “Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards.”

People do better when they feel better, not when they feel worse.

Positivity is a more constructive teacher than negativity. Positive messages elevate, encourage, and foster growth.

PROJECT POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS

Attitude is the mind’s paintbrush; it can color any situation. The teacher who says, “This is a very important test. Be careful,” paints a negative picture that shakes confidence. Saying, “This is a very important test and I know you can handle it and do well,” paints a positive picture.

Which would you rather hear when you walk into a restaurant: “I can’t seat you for thirty minutes” or “In thirty minutes I will have a wonderful table for you”? The result is the same, but the perception is different. The child who wets his bed conjures up one image when the parent says, “Don’t wet your bed tonight” and a completely different picture when the youngster hears, “Let’s see if you can keep the bed dry tonight.” The message we convey can have a dramatic effect on young people’s behavior.

The first step is awareness. To assist in becoming aware of negative statements, listen to yourself. When catching yourself saying something that paints a negative picture, take the extra step of thinking how it could be rephrased to paint a positive picture. “I’m afraid that I will forget my keys,” becomes, “I’m going to remember that I placed my keys in the top drawer.” Adults do not purposely set out to deprecate young people; awareness of positive language can ensure they do not. For example, rather than saying, “Did you forget again?” say, “What can you do to help yourself remember?’ Rather than, “When will you grow up?’ say, ‘As we grow older, we learn how to solve these problems from such experiences.”

Positive attitudes affect teaching. Many years ago, the first day of school began on a bright note for the new teacher, who was glancing over the class roll. After each student’s name was a number 118, 116, 121, and so on. “Look at these IQs,’ the teacher thought. “They have given me a terrific class!’ As a result, the elated teacher challenged his students, raised their expectations, and communicated his confidence in them. The teacher tried innovative techniques and involved students so they became active learners. The class did much better than expected. Only later did the teacher find out that the numbers placed by students’ names on new class roll sheets were locker numbers.

Here is a simple way to start off each year, especially at the elementary level. At the end of the previous year, each teacher writes one positive comment about every student that will be passed on to the student’s new teacher. The comment can relate to an interest, a talent, a personal skill, an attitude, or anything else worth sharing. The result is that the student’s new teacher is equipped at the very outset with a positive viewpoint toward each student.

Students at risk often think about of what they are not good at. These students are often right-hemisphere dominant, so their strengths do not lie in the left-hemisphere (logical, linguistic) areas in which schools focus after the primary grades. These students often have some hidden talent in art, psychomotor skills, leadership, or personal relations. Find one interest, talent, or skill these students possess and, in private, say something positive to them. “I see you draw well. I can tell because of the detail in your drawing.” The message with students who have low self-worth needs to be repeated a number of times in different ways. Sometimes young people have to believe in someone else’s belief in them until their own belief in themselves kicks in. Building on the positive gives a positive mindset. The pictures that young people have of themselves drive their behaviors.

We always want to refer to the behavior, never the person. If you say, “You are late all the time; you are just one of those late people,” the person will work to that expectation. On the other hand, saying, “You have such great work habits in many areas, and punctuality is something that you can improve on. I know you are capable of being here on time each day,” then the young person has something for which to strive. A positive picture has been created.

Also, consider the fact that mood follows action. Grandmother knew this, which is why she said to mother, “If you don’t feel good, clean the stove.” Similarly, doing something productive engenders positive feelings, in contrast to doing something negative or doing nothing at all. The advice is sound: Change what you do and you change your view.

Research has shown that optimism, whether “natural” or “learned,” results in better health. People who are optimistic have a better handle on dealing with their emotions, which has an impact on the immune system, heart, and other body functions.

Positivity brings hope, which is a cousin of optimism. A series of tests on hope was given at the University of Kansas, and results were compared to the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) scores, which are supposed to determine success as a college freshman. It was found that the test scores on hope were better predictors than the SAT scores. Hope and optimism are learned. They are teachable. A starting point is always to ask yourself, How can I say that in a positive way?”

KEY POINTS

• People do better when they feel good, rather than when they feel bad.
• Consequences are usually imposed, which is the prime reason why they are perceived negatively and why they do not change the way a person wants to behave.
• Advertising consequences ahead of time is counterproductive because it focuses on consequences, rather than on expected behaviors.
• If a consequence is deemed necessary, rather than assign it, a more effective approach is to elicit the consequence, thus placing ownership and responsibility on the young person.
• Contingencies promise with the positive and place the responsibility on the young person, where it belongs, rather than on the adult.
• Negative comments engender negative attitudes. Positive comments engender positive attitudes.
• People who are most effective in influencing other people phrase their communications in positive terms.
• Positivity brings hope.
• The pictures that people have of themselves drive their behaviors.
• Positivity prompts feelings of being valued, enthusiastic, supported, respected, motivated, challenged, capable, and proud.