Dr. Marvin Marshall on Education and Parenting

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Counterproductive Approaches

Learning requires motivation, but motivation to learn cannot be forced. Highly effective teachers realize this, so they prompt students to want to put forth effort in their learning by creating curiosity, challenge, and interest in meaningful lessons. In addition, however, and especially with youth in poverty, these successful teachers also create positive relationships with their students by practicing positivity, choice, and reflection. These practices are part of the Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model. This teaching model avoids approaches that inhibit motivation for responsibility and learning.

Following are 10 counterproductive approaches that are commonly used. Unfortunately, they are so counterproductive that they actually exacerbate the increasing dropout rate of students—especially in low economic areas.

1. BEING REACTIVE
Teachers too often become stressed by reacting to inappropriate behavior. It is far more effective to employ a proactive approach at the outset to inspire students to want to behave responsibly and then use a non-adversarial response whenever they do not.

2. RELIANCE ON RULES
Rules are meant to control, not inspire. Rules are necessary in games but when used between people, enforcement of rules automatically creates adversarial relationships. A more effective approach is to teach procedures and inspire responsible behavior through expectations and reflection.
See Rules.

3. AIMING AT OBEDIENCE
Obedience does not create desire. A more effective approach is to promote responsibility; obedience then follows as a natural by-product.

4. CREATING NEGATIVES
The brain thinks in pictures, not in words. When people tell others what NOT to do, the “don’t” is what the brain images. Example: “Don’t look at your neighbor’s paper!” Always communicate in positive terms of what you DO want. Example: “Keep your eyes on your own paper.”

5. ALIENATING STUDENTS
Even the poorest salesperson knows not to alienate a customer, but teachers too often talk to students in ways that prompt negative feelings. Negative feelings stop any desire of students to do what the teacher would like them to do. People do “good” when they feel “good,” not when they feel bad.

6. CONFUSING CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT WITH DISCIPLINE
Classroom management is the teacher’s responsibility and has to do with teaching, practicing, and reinforcing procedures. Discipline, in contrast, is the student’s responsibility and has to do with self-control. Having clarity between these two is necessary for both preventing and solving problems. See Classroom Management.

7. ASSUMING
Too often, teachers assume students know how to do what is expected of them. A more effective approach is (a) teaching expectations and procedures, (b) having the students practice, (c) having students visualize the process, and later (d) reinforcing the procedure by having them practice again. This process is necessary in order to have students be successful in performing the activity.

8. EMPLOYING COERCION
This approach is least effective in changing behavior. Although teachers can CONTROL students temporarily, teachers cannot CHANGE students. PEOPLE CHANGE THEMSELVES, and the most effective approach for actuating students to change is to eliminate coercion.
NOTE: Noncoercion is not to be confused with permissiveness or not using authority.

9. IMPOSING CONSEQUENCES
Although consistency is important, imposing the same consequence on all students is the least fair approach. When a consequence is imposed—be it called “logical” or”natural”—students are deprived of ownership in the decision. A more effective and fairer approach is to ELICIT a CONSEQUENCE or a PROCEDURE TO REDIRECT IMPULSES that will help each student become more responsible. This can easily be accomplished by asking people if they would rather be treated as a group or as individuals. They will readily have a preference to be treated as individuals and have ownership in the decision that will help them, rather than hurt them.

10. RELYING ON EXTERNAL APPROACHES
We want to assist young people to be self-disciplined and responsible. Both traits require internal motivation, but rewarding behavior and imposing punishments are external approaches. They also place the responsibility on someone else to instigate a change and, thereby, fail the critical test: How effective are they when no one is around? The greatest reward comes from the self-satisfaction of one’s efforts. In addition, by rewarding kids with something they value (candy, stickers, prizes), we simply reinforce their childish values—when what we really hope to do is to teach them about values that will last a lifetime.

In contrast to these counterproductive approaches, the DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS TEACHING MODEL uses approaches that eliminate counterwill, the natural response to coercion.

A more comprehensive list can be downloaded from Counterproductive Approaches.

Combating Negativity

A reader wrote, “I try to stay positive and think of things I can do when faced with a challenge. I’m finding that negativity is contagious and a select few can really bring me down, making it hard for me to stay positive. Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with the naysayers at school?”

I responded that to get you in the right mood, start by visiting  this link:

As you indicated, NEGATIVITY IS CONTAGIOUS. Combat it by being proactive. This is done by the simple truth that THE PERSON WHO ASKS THE QUESTION CONTROLS THE CONVERSATION.

Ask questions such as, “How is this conversation enhancing the enjoyment of our day?” “Is there anything else we could talk about so that we will leave feeling good rather than negative?”

Persevere! It can take but one person to redirect the negative talk. Also, suggest to the principal—since the principal is interested in a positive school climate—to put the situation up to the faculty. The staff may suggest some procedure or other idea to redirect such negative conversations.

By taking the initiative, you will be helping yourself, other members on the staff, and—perhaps most importantly—the effect this will have on teacher-student relationships.

Advice From My Mother

I was brought up on a principle my mother instilled in me, namely, “If you can’t say something nice about a person, then do not say anything at all.” In other words, refrain from negativism.

The advice of my mother found itself the bedrock of my first principle to reduce stress: POSITIVITY. I now think of it whenever something negative pops into my head or if I am about to say something that can be interpreted in a negative way. I immediately ask myself, “How can I say that in positive way?”

In building and improving relationships, its opposite—negativity—is the biggest enemy. You do not want it in your mind. You do not want it in your house. You do not want it in your environment. You do not want to express negativity to your associates, to those who may work for you, or to your friends. You do not want anything to do with it. When you see it, turn it around. If you can not turn it around, then you turn around and walk the other way.

How to  be positive is at parenting without stress.